In session the other day I was helping a client with some task management. She was feeling pretty overwhelmed with a never-ending to-do list and getting bogged down with a lot of “should”s. As I’m sure most of you can relate to (I certainly can), this can trigger a shame spiral that often ends in us avoiding any of the tasks on our list.
We were exploring the usual ADHD-esque tips for prioritizing tasks, yadda yadda, and it occurred to me that knowing which tasks are the priority isn’t the issue here. The emotions behind the tasks are what’s blocking her. So instead of ranking the tasks by priority, I suggested she scale each task according to it’s emotional weight: 0-5 with 0 being the least emotional and 5 being the most. Then she can easily see which tasks are weighing on her emotionally, which gives her more information on when she can best tackle it and who she can ask to help.
This not only adds a layer self-awareness that can be super helpful, it also disrupts any authority defiance patterns that may be happening. The clarity she received through this spurred self-compassion and relieved a little pressure so that she was able to get new ideas on how to break the task into smaller steps and who in her support network would be best suited to assist with any aspects. Knowing if you need moral support, help lifting and moving stuff, a discerning eye, an unbiased third party, outsourcing, etc. can go so far in getting you the right help.
What are some tasks that have been looming on your list? Do you think this approach might help you get some clarity on why you’re avoiding them? Can implementing it help you get the right support with those tasks? I’d love to hear from you!
